September Fool!

Episode 5

Dr Statham enters politics – at least the manifesto will be grammatically correct. Caroline thinks her choice of lodger might have been a mistake, but finds she has to live with it. Mac’s past catches up with him – luckily not literally, or he might meet his former self, which can be catastrophic, as we all know. Other catastrophic things include Martin becoming a pimp.

Dr Caroline Todd (Tamsin Greig)
Pathologically awkward, Caroline is the newest doctor at East Hampton Hospital Trust and had an “interesting” first year. She arrived homeless and stinking, spent her first night at Guy’s house and the rest of the week quashing the sexual rumours he spread about her. She’s since moved in with the hyper-anal Angela, and ended up snogging Guy, Martin, Mac and Sue after drinking too much ethanol punch at her housewarming. More than gaining respect from the staff, the one thing she desperately desires is the love of Dr Macartney.

“I tried giving up smoking but my lungs are sentimental and when I’m under pressure, they try to woo me”

“Apparently if you eat a lot of pineapple, it makes your sperm taste nicer and pubic topiary is the new pashmina”

“September Fool! Everyone’s always on the look out in April so I like to do it seven months early, catch people off guard”

Tamsin Greig has played a variety of roles in theatre television and film. Her television credits include Love Soup by David Renwick for the BBC, Black Books, Doctor Who, When I'm 64, Happiness and People Like Us.

Film appearances include Miranda and Ready When You Are McGill. Tamsin has appeared in theatres across the UK playing varied roles from Mrs Havisham in Great Expectations, Helena in A Midsummer Night’s Dream to Jacqueline in French Without Tears. She is currently rehearsing Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing and Constance in King John for The Royal Shakespeare Company.

“She's my smoo too!”

Episode 4

Attractive single white Guy seeks accommodation, and a new member of staff upsets the apple cart (or whatever they use to transport patients these days.)

Dr Martin Dear – House Officer (Karl Theobald)
Bumbling and innocent, Martin failed his exams for a second time and remains the target of Guy’s ‘wit’. He spent most of the first series working up the courage to ask Caroline out, before blowing it by trying to play hard-to-get after buying her for £3000 in the slave auction. Ever impressionable, he was once convinced by Mac and Guy to drink some of Guy’s urine in an attempt to harness his pulling powers. Unfortunately it turned out to be ‘corpse juice’ from the path lab.

“Have you ever thought about having a sexy girlfriend who you'd sleep with?”

“Hello mum it’s me, Martin. Martin Dear, Martin, M-A-R-T-I-N… you know who it is”

“She's my smoo too!”

Karl Theobald first came to prominence as a stand-up comedian, starring in The Comedy Zone & Custard at the Edinburgh festival as well as hosting his own acclaimed Comedy Club; he was also part of the writing team on the BAFTA winning The Sketch Show. Since series 1 of Green Wing, Karl has starred in AD/BC, The Last Laugh, The Virgin Queen, the Channel 4 short film Buying Porn and feature film The Truth which was released across the UK in January 2006. His Radio 4 credits include The Last Days of Gordon Springer and Belfast Journeys.

“I’m fraise blonde”

Episode 3

A documentary crew are in the hospital, so everyone just has to act normally. Well there’s a first time for everything. Sue makes life hell for Joanna and Guy, while penniless Martin tries his hand at being a sperm donor.

Dr ‘Mac’ Macartney (Julian Rhind-Tutt)
Master of the witty-putdown, protector of the weak and owner of the quickest blade in theatre, Mac is king of the East Hampton jungle. With his flowing leonine hair, laidback attitude, and a throbbing beast between his legs, he’s the object of lust for Caroline and Sue, a guru for Martin, Guy’s greatest rival and Alan’s nemesis. At one point it looked like he was off to Sheffield with new girlfriend Lady Emily Brandenburg Concerto Von Posh, until a final throw of the dice by Caroline seemed to finally win Mac’s heart. What could possibly go wrong…

“Join me again next week on this episode of let’s make no fucking sense at all when I’ll be waxing an owl”

“What can I tell you? A few ground rules. No bombing, no running, no petting, no diving and no inflatables. In fact, probably best to leave all swimming related activities until later, this is after all an operating theatre”

“You put all these elements together and what have you got? Today potentially in this hospital a very tall genius, woman-of-the-people, uber-babe latino chick coming to work here”

“I’m fraise blonde”

“Come on guys, you know we don’t play British Bulldog in theatre”

Julian Rhind-Tutt has a number of television credits including The Rotter’s Club, Absolutely Fabulous and the critically-acclaimed Black Books. Additionally, he has appeared in films such as the multi-award winning The Madness of King George, Notting Hill and To Kill a King.

Do you? Would you? Could you?

Do you live in Gloucestershire in the UK?

Would you like to realise some cash for those items that you have lying around the house/garden that you only use a couple of times a year?

Could you benefit from borrowing some items, something that you would only use occasionaly but do not want to purchase?

The check out borrowstuff.co.uk, it could just help you out!

tell them James sent you!

It looks like I myself must charm the mighty python…

Episode 2
Guy has to live without a driving licence and Statham has to live without sex – will either of them survive? Just when Caroline thought she’d climbed all the ladders, she slips down the longest snake on the board, and she’s back to Square One. Ah, misty watercolour memories...

Dr Alan Statham – Consultant Imaging & Radiology (Mark Heap)
Anal, fussy, pedantic and wound tighter than a watch, Alan is the butt of everybody’s jokes. Bullied at school by Simon “shitting” Mason, his life hasn’t got any better at East Hampton: Mac undermines his authority; Boyce constantly insinuates he’s gay, Sue goes out of her way to break his willpower to complain and even Joanna, the love of his life, ditches him for an abortive attempt to shack up with Lyndon. Even the vicar finds him intensely annoying.

“Alright. Somebody has used a marker pen to make some alterations. The badge should read Alan Statham, next line Consultant Radiologist, and on the word consultant, they've blacked out the letters 'o','n','s' and 'l','t','a'”

“Here’s the choice, a bit of Peter up the pantry passage or holiday snaps of Crete 1976”

“It looks like I myself must charm the mighty python… Oh Princess Joannadine, the snake has risen from the basket and awaits your tender caress”

Mark Heap has had roles in a wide range of theatre, film, TV and radio productions. He will soon be seen in Woody Allen’s upcoming film shot in London, and is about to start filming Hot Fuzz (from the Shaun of Dead team). His television credits include Dalziel and Pascoe, Brass Eye, Big Train and Spaced, and he’s also appeared in the films Bring Me the Head of Mavis Davis and About a Boy.